Eyes that see through the darkness
We ask God not for things to be as they are, but as we want them to be. And if He doesn’t answer our requests, we do everything we can to make it our will, not His.
“Having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness… For when you were slaves of sin… what fruit did you have then? Things of which you are now ashamed, for the end of those things is death. But now… your fruit is holiness, and the end, everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life” (Romans 6:18–23)
These words are heard on this Sunday during the Liturgy. We all know well in our minds the Gospel teaching that life is given to us so we can choose between the abyss of eternal darkness and the abyss of eternal joy. And God arranges our life to force us to awaken from the sleep of sin.
This happens when the ascetic reaches a state of dispassion, constantly practicing silence and noetic stillness in his spiritual life. Is it difficult? Both yes and no. To achieve dispassion requires only one thing of us – trust in God, or in other words, humility. No matter how life turns out, we must remember – God makes no mistakes, and we must find peace. What could be simpler? Yet how terribly hard it is!
Every day, as we pray the “Our Father,” we say: “Thy will be done.” But as soon as God’s will doesn’t match our own, we immediately fall into despondency or even despair. It is hard to keep our hearts at peace when our fate unfolds in ways we never wanted.
We ask God to change things from how they are to how we want them to be. And if He doesn’t grant our requests, we do all we can to make it happen our way, not His. But God only begins to care for our needs when all our care is for the salvation of our soul.
The moment you can truly say “Lord, Thy will be done!” everything becomes light – so light that this faith strengthens you completely and makes your burden easy. But when you insist on “I,” “Me,” “Mine,” a terrible weight settles on your soul, and even the daylight seems to darken before your eyes.
Home, family, work – these are the three pillars of the earthly kingdom. “I,” “me,” “mine” – the three pillars of the sinful mind. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit – the three pillars of the Heavenly Kingdom.
Our body is not our own, our thoughts are not our own, even the earth we walk on is not ours. Even my own “I” is not truly mine. None of it was chosen by us – it came to us unasked and will leave us just as surely. What will remain? Our eternal spirit, made in the image and likeness of God.
It dwells somewhere deep in the spiritual heart, in that inner silence where there are no thoughts, no sorrows, no anxieties. This Spirit has been free since our birth. But the devil, who lurks in our mind, entices us with endless distraction so that we forget God forever.
The mind lives in the past or the future. But while we wait for everything to “be over,” our life itself ends. Tomorrow will never come. There is only the eternal now. Time exists only in our mind – it has nowhere else to live. Our mind senses death; our spirit senses immortality.
The distance between us and God can be measured by the degree of our irritability. The less patience we have, the weaker our spirit, and the farther we are from salvation. The average person thinks life is given to accumulate things. But in truth, life is given so that we might lose everything.
Life ends with the loss of health, and then of the very body we carried about like fools with a pestle. The final illness brings the soul to ultimate humility and the realization that everything in our life was vanity and vexation of spirit.
But while we are alive and healthy, giving back to God what we once thought was ours is bitter and painful. Only the one who does this freely – trusting entirely in God’s will, renouncing not only outward possessions but also their own ego – enters the Kingdom of God without struggle.
It is not life’s circumstances themselves that are frightening, but how our imagination paints them. The human spirit fears nothing. All our fears live in our mind. And the mind, more often than not, deceives us. Its thoughts are a curtain that hides us from God.
If God is everywhere, where is there room for fear? Inside ourselves, we find nothing that is outside; and outside we find nothing that is truly inside. Our body will one day become refuse we’ll want to bury quickly. But our immortal spirit will not go anywhere – it will remain what it is. The inner is linked to infinity; the outer is like a dream.
God’s grace surrounds us on all sides, but our mind cannot see or even imagine it.
Slavery is not only to sin. A person can be a slave to righteousness. One can build churches, organize Orthodox children’s camps, plan Christmas pageants and Easter concerts. Year after year one can imitate Christianity – and yet never become a true Christian.
By throwing ourselves entirely into outward good deeds, we can forget the most important thing and never arrive at a personal meeting with Christ. To become God’s friend, one must abandon egoism, for it is the chief destructive force that forms a tight knot of passions. Its energy drives every action of its victim, draining their strength until it finally kills them. This is why egoism is so dangerous for the human soul.
Everything truly needed for us, God Himself will accomplish in His time. Our task is simply to seek Him unceasingly in our own hearts. No pageant, concert, or spiritual bike ride will lead us to Him. Only inward – down the steps, following the heartbeat, moment by moment – into that place where the noise of the world falls silent. That is where the road to Him lies.
God is not found in books. He is not found in talk about Him. He is in the silence you must listen to and fall quiet in.
What we call “the world” is nothing but the fruit of our mind’s imagination, which sees everything in a distorted way.
When you look at how bloodthirsty, power-hungry, glory-obsessed madmen condemn millions to torment by their pride; how the devil pits nations against each other; how vile lies and cunning rule the world; how people fight over things that never belonged to them and never will – ask yourself: “Man, what are you seeking in this desert of emptiness?”
Remember your eternal soul. Remember the eternal God, who created all things and fills all things with Himself.
When peace reigns in the soul, calm rests in the mind, and grace dwells in the spirit, the earth itself becomes a paradise for you, full of love and tranquility.
Grant me, O God, different eyes, so that through the dark veil of this world I may see another world – one filled with light, joy, and salvation!
